far afar afield the scoundrels

ravaged towns and ports

twisted in their joyful troubles

broken disregard for hearts

men and boys and slanted beasties

picking fights on ships

sought locales, exotic beauties

died as vicious fools

mothers held them once to breast

fathers they never knew

awash in sorrow, failed the test

o grace wanted their souls

it's a missing light that blinds.

it's these dark spots in my eyes that burn the brightest.

tempted by knowledge,

fooled by secrets,

endlessly struggling against a villain that sniggers with mirth.

I'm not so blind any more,

and yet my steps are cautious,

as if I'm wandering the dark.

I'm lost in hesitation and certainties of nothing.

twining around the finger of fate and flooded in fears.

he's a gentle one,

and she's no rougher,

but the words cut just deeper.

there is that feeling of loss in knowing,

that bleak knowledge wanting to drown.

and cheshires grinning.

and time laughs full out.

but mere sensation brings me round.

knowing that my nerves serve the moment.

and my heart serves the infinite.

and my breath serves the all

in you and me.

3/7/12 At night

And words that linger

Settle on my tongue like snowflakes

Mixed with the dirt on my gloves

Bitter and crunchy.

But my lips taste only cool

My eyes this white marred by the reflections of the trees in the shards of crystals

Crystals arising from imperfect molecules

Wound outward to nothing

This weather lasts as long as I let it.

Flakes fall in waves

I cannot tell whether this night will be long

And whether these waves will blanket the rocky ground

Into obscurity.

iPod Poems

(February 6th, 2010)

Poem
Investor
Filling orders requested
As signs dwell between past and present
I am in those spaces
Are you listening as particles collide over me
New noises and new toys to make me known
Don't deny me my existence
In this hungry place the liberty is satisfying my cravings
Quietly I dwell
As the afternoon sun hides from warming me
But cool air can do nothing to reslice the past
Thanks to those who make me nervous
I need you plenty as I need noone else

(July 25th, 2010)

Pome
I am a loner
I use others to feed my selfish desires.
They are there for me
Am I there for them?
Am I
Am I?
First steps always, right?
Then what?
Then wind me up and let me go
Out on my own
Subtleties and vagaries
Weave nothing below my mottled surface
Ah fuck you
I am sorry I treated you so
Shelved with no place to go
In my little universe you were trapped
My little universe is selfish
I have so little power I'm told
But I don't believe you.
I think I am incredibly powerful.
And in this delusion of mine I am sorry.
Even outside I am sorry.
I am using my own desires to stall these pathways
To block these highways
These highways
My highways
Your flaking roadways
And you still smile
A sad smile
Thank you.

(August 2nd, 2010)
How tragic some realities become
When perception is limited
We know nothing
A war vet blind to all but his crisp appearance
Begging on these streets
A facade perhaps
And cynicism turns round opinions so quick
But meanwhile the poor man stands grinning and hopeful
His mind a shell of its wasted potential
His mind is gone
For reasons I will not know
I will leave him behind this afternoon
He will keep on being
I am sorry til my perception turns elsewhere
But he will still be
His world will still turn
And I don't know even how I will treat him while my perception of him is strong
He is simple in my eyes
And I pass over the layers subtle in his eyes
Sorry
What more am I willing to be?

But my body was like a harp and her words and gestures were like fingers running upon the wires. -James Joyce, Dubliners

Sent from my iPod

April 10th

Settle underneath the pleasant sky,
And moments fall into place so softly.
When fingers twine and twist and seek companions
That's when green grass is underfoot.

Take me away o beautiful shaded tree.
Let's run and upset the heavy sidewalk.
Crush it from below and lightly step above.
My footfalls are nothing to the earth.

When I root down and plant myself, though,
I have all the earth to support me.
When heavens fall and giants strike
I know the ground underneath is my rock.

Floating through eternal nothingness
This rock is even less than me.
I find strength nonetheless
In this green and glorious beauty.

4/9/11

Sometimes it's hard to go on,
When no one thinks anything's wrong.
While festering wounds wait to scar,
And nothing seems very far,
You wait and hope for a clue,
Just give you the slightest damn what-to-do.

But things go up and back down,
Those little wounds stick around.
And you're left all alone,
Wanting to go home,
But the way you can't find
You start to feel blind
The words ring false
You can't feel the pulse
Faster and clear
The end so near
Twisted
Conflicted
Hurt
Pained
It won't go away
Troubled
Concerned
Worried
Torn.

But maybe you can be reborn.

April 6

You find me a rhythm,
You bring me a rhyme,
I turn you away,
To twist up my time.

At every new step,
Your way lights up clear,
I screw shut my eyes,
I'm blind when I'm here.

The answers you offer,
They seem to be true,
I won't let them in,
It's all I can do.

And when the morn comes,
My heart so asleep,
You've woken and gone,
Left nothing to reap.